On a matter of trust.

[reynardo]

I'll tend to take people at their word. I try to be as honest as I can with people, and I do tend to expect the same in return.

And because most of the below is written for my own ranting benefit, and because it's actually very very unlikely the people it's directed at will be reading it, I shall spare the rest of you with a cut.

This also extends to telling me if all is fine. I will ask particularly if all is well, and if I am closely involved with you as a friend or more. If we are involved at a level that can lead to anger, frustration and hurt if misunderstandings occur, I will ask you often if all is fine and if anything I am doing is not good for you.

So you'll understand that if I hear you're not happy with something I've said or done, I'll come and ask you about it. And if you say to my face that everything's OK, then I'll tend to believe your first-hand information over the others. It has happened that a well-meaning friend has misinterpreted what you said and felt I ought to know, and I hold no grudge against them for that, but I would prefer to find out from you. In fact, this has happened with one of you and I feel it brought us closer as friends and more when we sorted out the misunderstanding and were clear where we stood with each other.

And thus you'll have to accept that if you have told me to my face that everything's all right, and then I hear from several different people later that not only is everything not all right, but that you're actually really pissed off with me, I will be very annoyed with you. I will also from now on be rather sceptical about anything you tell me. If this is not the first time it has happened between us, I will probably regard most of what you tell me to be unreliable until verified through other means.


Please note

a) The above "you" applies to different people.
b) The negative things do not apply to anyone on my friends list.

Comments

[shadow-5tails.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear.

Are you phonable tonight, dearone? Assuming that we have a functional phone line? *glances apprehensively at the blue-grey roiling evil in the sky*

[verylisa.livejournal.com]

Some people thrive on drama. Open and honest communication would reduce the drama levels, and is thus unacceptable.

*rolls eyes*

[lokicarbis.livejournal.com]

What she said.

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

Both of you , I'll be home from about 10pm. But I'm fine now - I just felt like screaming about a number of things, and this was the only one that made it coherently through.

And neither of you two are anything but straight and honest with me, and I love you both.

[turnberryknkn.livejournal.com]

(nods)

Trust is a very difficult thing.

Of the many gifts I have kindly recieved from friends, their trust be the most precious -- and humbling. Especially the depths to which I have discovered some of my friends do trust me, even those who have been hurt -- badly -- by trusting in the past.

[shadow-5tails.livejournal.com]

Oh, all that's understood, but for the confirmation of the "fine now" bit - and that was hoped for anyway.

Doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you. *grin*

[harliquinn.livejournal.com]

It has happened (in my experience) those who trusted and 'lost', find someone they can trust and cling to them with the upmost loyalty.

But, this is rare indeed.