Practical solutions to little problems.

Situation: You live in a duplex - a two-story semi-detached townhouse. The "living" areas are downstairs - lounge, dining, kitchen. The bedrooms are upstairs.

The teenager (aka da_norvegicus) has the back bedroom. He also has a computer with a very good set of headphones.

You really don't feel like climbing the stairs every time you need his attention, such as mealtimes, or asking him to perform housework. But yelling up the stairs makes you feel like a nagging fishwife, and besides, it doesn't always work.

( So - how do you get his attention? )

The Bloody Dog.

Background: The World's Cutest Cocker Spaniel is missing an ear, courtesy of a Mast Cell tumour 5 years ago. Thus, the ever-present worry of a recurrence.

Today: Captain Rodent Features (One of his many aliases) had to have a fur clip, as he has been skidding on our wooden floors (and also suffering from the heat and humidity). When picking him up, I was told "oh, did you know he has a lump on his side?"

OMFG it's HUGE and it was totally hidden by the fluff. (By huge, I mean a disk about 3cm thick and 7cm diameter on his left hip)

Mad call to husband to ask him to look up vet number and make a booking. (We've just moved to the area so hadn't been to any vets yet). Mad drive through rain and grey and slush to vet. Terrified wait in reception, concerned that dog is possibly on limited time.

Head into vet. Vet makes obligatory comments about how dog is obviously underfed, unloved and unwanted. (We don't call him "Tubs McLard" for nothing). Then she checks the lump. And points out a matching (but slightly smaller) lump on the other side.

( The verdict? )