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reynardo I have a number of friends who are non-cis. I hesitate to use "trans*" because some of them aren't - there's gender-fluid, gender-non-conforming, agendered, transitioning, deciding and just plain male and female and male-and-female. What's lovely is that over the last couple of years, this has become a more openly-discussed openly-accepted and slowly-understood matter. It fills my own heart with joy to see people I know and care about finally feeling safe and confident enough to tell us what they've known in their own hearts for years. That, at least in my various friends' groups and communities, this much of a sense of acceptance is now present is such a good and positive thing.
Alas, I've heard some people talk about "well, they're all jumping on the bandwagon, aren't they? They see something trendy, and they're trying to be a part of it." The nay-sayers don't realise that these brave and lovely people have been hiding inside themselves for years. Covering up their real souls, putting a fake front up to the world, because it can be really dangerous for someone who was born male to stand up and say "Actually, I'm a woman, and I've always known it." It is a huge step that can lose you friends and family, when you say "I've never felt comfortable looking at my female body in the mirror. I knew I wanted to be a man, but now I can." It's not a matter of jumping on the bandwagon. It's a matter of feeling supported enough to speak up.
At least one person I know has gone "I don't want to be constrained by the definitions. I'm whatever I want to be", and people are confronted and confused by this. And alas, when some people get scared or can't understand, they react by lashing out. By insisting that people around them stick to narrow, strictly-defined gender roles and expectations and assignments, they deny others and ultimately themselves so much!
I'm born female. I've certainly thought about the different possibilities. I'm happy being female - there's a lot to being female that I *don't* like, but I don't feel the need to change, be changeable. If I'd had the nerve when I was younger, I might have tried being gender-fluid, but it's not a necessary for me. But I can see where other people don't quite fit into a binary construct that has major limitations. (As a female, I hate those limitations. Don't get me started on being a woman in a male-dominated industry). But this has helped me see why some people want to be a something that isn't what I am. And while I'm content in my own skin, I can understand why some people realise that they're in the wrong skin completely.
So please, don't say that this is all coming out as a fashion, a fad. Think of it more as the dam has been broken, and all the restrictions are being washed away.
Rant over.
Alas, I've heard some people talk about "well, they're all jumping on the bandwagon, aren't they? They see something trendy, and they're trying to be a part of it." The nay-sayers don't realise that these brave and lovely people have been hiding inside themselves for years. Covering up their real souls, putting a fake front up to the world, because it can be really dangerous for someone who was born male to stand up and say "Actually, I'm a woman, and I've always known it." It is a huge step that can lose you friends and family, when you say "I've never felt comfortable looking at my female body in the mirror. I knew I wanted to be a man, but now I can." It's not a matter of jumping on the bandwagon. It's a matter of feeling supported enough to speak up.
At least one person I know has gone "I don't want to be constrained by the definitions. I'm whatever I want to be", and people are confronted and confused by this. And alas, when some people get scared or can't understand, they react by lashing out. By insisting that people around them stick to narrow, strictly-defined gender roles and expectations and assignments, they deny others and ultimately themselves so much!
I'm born female. I've certainly thought about the different possibilities. I'm happy being female - there's a lot to being female that I *don't* like, but I don't feel the need to change, be changeable. If I'd had the nerve when I was younger, I might have tried being gender-fluid, but it's not a necessary for me. But I can see where other people don't quite fit into a binary construct that has major limitations. (As a female, I hate those limitations. Don't get me started on being a woman in a male-dominated industry). But this has helped me see why some people want to be a something that isn't what I am. And while I'm content in my own skin, I can understand why some people realise that they're in the wrong skin completely.
So please, don't say that this is all coming out as a fashion, a fad. Think of it more as the dam has been broken, and all the restrictions are being washed away.
Rant over.
