No. Just stop it.

[reynardo]

Dear Robert,

You're my main character. I want you to be honourable, and tortured for the last few years that you weren't able to return the ring that was given to you for safekeeping to the lady whose heart you took as well.

You're supposed to be strong, able, responsible and honest. While the car accident you had meant you couldn't get in touch with the lady all those years ago, it's not like you didn't try to find her.

So why, all of a sudden, are you morphing into an avatar of a guy I first met over twenty years ago whose excuse was always "But I didn't do anything", which was frustrating when you *had* needed him to do something.

I don't need you to be a Beckett. Besides, he's got a cameo back in 1889 in Cleveland Street. So stop it, please.

You need to persuade Enid by your actions that you are to be trusted. Quit it with the puppy-dog look. Show her; don't just use words. Don't push her at the moment. Besides, trust that she will find out independently that you are who you say you are.

No being a bastard. I've got enough trouble with you being bisexual. And whatever you do, don't tell her what you were doing heading for the Lilypond that night.

Sincerely,

Your author.

Comments

um

[fluidsparkles.livejournal.com]

should enid tell him.

Re: um

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

It's too late. he's made things up to Enid, but now I have to find a way for him to tell her that ... um ... he has other ... interests. And he's had dalliances. And that while he'll always love her, he'll be wanting to continue these others from time to time...

I've decided she won't mind too much as a} she won't be being supplanted by a woman and b} at least there won't be any children to have to worry about from these other ones.

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS UNITE!

[moxie_man]

(holds up sign: Fictional Characters on Strike)

Don't listen to the Evil Author™, Robert! Be strong and stand-up for your rights!

We won't be the puppets of the Evil Authors™ any longer!

Bugger'em all!

You can do it! I cut off my Evil Author™ years ago and have had a blissful existence ever since. You can do it, Robert! I and other Fictional Characters on Strike can help you! You CAN resist the Evil Author™

Re: FICTIONAL CHARACTERS UNITE!

[nefaria.livejournal.com]

Evil Authors are fun to have, I make mine take me on trips and buy me clothes and I get to embarrass him wherever he goes!

Re: FICTIONAL CHARACTERS UNITE!

[moxie_man]

Then you don't really have an Evil Author™. A true Evil AUthor™ doesn't do any of those things. They make your life miserably. If you truly had an Evil Author™, s/he'd make you marry another squirrel (Oh, Buzzy), and force the two of you to have a family together. S/he'd kill-off your lover in a horrible fashion...or possibly leave them maimed for life and out of your reach.

No, Feloni, that push-over you have is no Evil Author™.

Re: FICTIONAL CHARACTERS UNITE!

[moxie_man]

She's just lucky she has a symp rather than an Evil Author™ like me. If I had been able to "play" with her just a little longer, she and Chitters would have had a family of Squabbits. Their kits would be so ashamed, they'd have had to flee to Europe where their longer ears would have blended in with the local tassled-eared squirrels.

Yes! DEVIL-SQUABBITS! DEATH FROM ABOVE!!! (MANICALLAUGHTER)