Really bad music...

[reynardo]

OK, it's the perennial argument. Music 30 years ago was brilliant, music today sucks donkey balls. Except that my counter-argument is that there is terrible music enough from 30 years ago - we just don't remember it (or in some cases, try oh so very hard to forget it).

I have listed some older examples of terrible music below and would like your help to think of more.

Let me say first of all that I am looking for lyrics that are practically nothing - fairy floss or soap foam. I'm not looking at lyrics that were loaded with pathos or ghastly sentiments or horrid proselytising. For example, these are my first choices:

1960
It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
That she wore for the first time today
An itsy, bitsy, teentie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
So in the locker she wanted to stay
Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more
Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini, Brian Hyland

1971
Last night, I heard my mama singing a song
Ooh-We, Chirpy, Chirpy, Cheep, Cheep
Woke up this morning and my mama was gone
Ooh-We, Chirpy, Chirpy, Cheep, Cheep
Chirpy, Chirpy, Cheep, Cheep, Chirp
Chirpy, Chirpy, Cheep, Cheep - Middle of the Road

1984
Ag-a-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree
Aga-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee
To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees
Come and dance every night, sing with a hula melody
Agadoo - Black Lace

1994
Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop
Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop
Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop
Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop
Doop - Doop

Want me to go further back?

There used to be one the Ritz Brothers sang in a terrible movie in 1938:

Here pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy,
Here pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy,
Here pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy,
Here pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy,
Where is that gosh darn cat?


So - which completely empty lyrics with no redeeming value whatsoever can you think of? And don't bother putting good lyrics from any time - they exist, and I don't need to prove them. Let's limit this from 1950 onwards, and English-speaking world.

In the interests of saving some sanity, limit of three per commenter. Because I know some of you have hundreds of them.

No responsibility accepted for brain scarring for anyone remembering, listening to, or looking up these songs.

Comments

[sly-girl.livejournal.com]

You've shown examples that suggest that terrible music has always existed. What you haven't done is shown examples that suggest that good music still exists.

(FTR - I don't necessarily think today's music sucks, I just don't happen to like it.)

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't think I need to prove good music today. I know it exists, in all genres (except perhaps Football songs). No, I just need to prove the bad songs of yesteryear.

And I just found the blasted cat song - and I'm soooo sorry that I did...

[michiexile]

Let's limit this from 1950 onwards, and English-speaking world.

Awwwww. And I wanted to rely on the music aggregation performed by Club Sunkit — a Stockholm (monthly?) club dedicated to horribly bad music.

[mr-figgy.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm defeated: bad music defined solely as bad lyrics, not just noises deliberately meant to annoy and which do that job very very well. Remember that prog song with the yodeling in it? I guess there's enough of a lunatic fringe of people who like it that we shouldn't aggro them.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Surfing.
Bird.

Presley's "Hound Dog" is a close second.

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

Oh, "Agadoo." Is there any party you can't ruin?

[wingedkami.livejournal.com]

*thinks back to other people's childhood birthday parties*

No, there isn't. They were rivalled only by The Tweets with the Birdie Song for ways to torture me at parties.

[bunny-hugger.livejournal.com]

I don't think lyrics are the standard by which to judge music. Bands have put out good music with bad lyrics since the dawn of popular music, I'm sure.

[sandypawozbun.livejournal.com]

Aaarghhh!

I see your pussy(Cat) and I raise you one pussy (cat)

[harliquinn.livejournal.com]

I knew someone who would sing this in karaoke bars.

The Pussycat Song:

my pussycat was scrathin' at my front door
he scratched so hard poor pussy got sore

SORE
pussy
sore
pussy
just a friendly little cat
[friendly little cat]
....

You can see how it goes on by yourself.