I'll see your Digital Man and raise you one Dragonpearl.

[reynardo]

madcatapult mentioned "Digital Man" in her journal entry here.

So I was inspired to comment on a movie given to us by notasquirrel and that we forced a number of other LJ bods to watch with us one night.

Dragon Ball - the Magic Begins"

aka Dragon Pearl

Imagine, if you would, a live-action prequel to "Dragonball-Z", made cheaply in Thailand or Malaysia. Imagine that because of copyright problems, when it was dubbed into English it had to be changed to "Dragonpearl". The case still says "Dragon Ball", the music says "Dragon Ball", but all the way through they refer to "Dragon Pearls".

Then imagine a grandfather with a wig that looks like a small rodent, a crocodile less convincing than the rubber octopus in "Bride of the Monster", and a dialogue that is excruciating.



Location: Wildnerness near the crocodile pond. Boy is carrying crocodile across his shoulders - girl driving towards him.

Boy: "That girl looks strange."

(Assorted bits where he stops her car with his bare hands, she shoots him and he's not hurt)

Girl: "I'm not a witch - I'm a human being."

"You are?"

"Look at me closely. Do I look like a witch?"
(She nances around in a fashionable version of a safari outfit - those boots couldn't go very far in that terrain.)

Boy: Maybe not. But I still feel that you're different from me.

Girl: Of course we're different. You're a boy and I'm a girl, you know.

(amazed) Oh! You're a girl? Are you really a girl?
(remember, people, not 4 minutes ago he called her a girl.)

Haven't you ever seen a woman before?

No.... but Grandad told me that there are two different kinds of people. One is boys and the other is girls, so you must be the other kind of people. Girls, right?

Yes. A boy and a girl, well, apart from some physical differences, are basically the same.

Oh yes, I remember he said a girl's chest is bigger than a boy's. But that's strange. (approaching her with an investigative look in his eye) Why should your chest be bigger? (jumps towards her) Hey, can I take a look?

Hey! You can't touch me!

He retreats, looking disappointed at a lack of discovery.

My Grandpa said that too. He said a boy mustn't touch a girl. He said that those that do are called ... (he's obviously searching for the right word here )

(Together they find the right word. Delightedly shouting:) RAPISTS!

Gee, thanks, Buzzy.

Comments

Sadly...

[djfiggy.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I remember watching this.

Re: Sadly...

[drzero.livejournal.com]

Sadly, so do I, thanks to reynardo :)

Re: Sadly...

[djfiggy.livejournal.com]

I won't be able to top this, I can't remember a single thing more dumb.

Unless I write it myself.

(Japan, here I come.)

yor welkome!

[notasquirrel.livejournal.com]

{happychitter} soe i ges wat yor sayinge iz thet mi wurke heer iz dun...

Re: yor welkome!

[djfiggy.livejournal.com]

No, you still have to carve a tunnel through a wall of solid rock, armed with nothing more than a hatpin :P

Re: yor welkome!

[notasquirrel.livejournal.com]

No, you still have to carve a tunnel through a wall of solid rock, armed with nothing more than a hatpin :P

aktulee, {irritatedchitter} i stil hev a tre toe eet...