Oranges and Lemons...

[reynardo]

Me: So there's this Citrus Scale of how much naughty stuff is in a fan fic. It's a handy way of warning you what to expect.

lederhosen: Oh?

Me: So there's Oranges, which is snogging; then Limes, which includes petting and groping but fades to black; Lemons is actual naughty sex-type-stuff, and then ... oh god, I hadn't realised. There's Grapefruit. For the weird stuff.

lederhosen: So what's on the scale for Cumquats?

Me: *dissolves in hysterical weeping laughter.

* Note: you really don't have to warn for anything below Limes. Or you shouldn't have to. *

Comments

[lady-of-clunn.livejournal.com]

LOL!

And... Citrus?? I have to warn for hugs??

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't think so. Wouldn't even warn for Oranges. Definitely Limes or above.

My mind is now starting to think of:

* Mandarins (easily peeled/stripped),
* Tangelos (bitter aftertaste - remorse maybe?) (my partner says "what about Blow jobs?"),
* Navel Oranges (Belly Button kissing)
* Blood Oranges (Not tonight, dear. It's that time...)
and
* Buddha's fist Hand. (Don't. Go. There.)

[lady-of-clunn.livejournal.com]

Brilliant!

I shall start warning accordingly and plunge fandom into wonderment.

And I will most definitely go there. *plots*

[michiexile]

I was gonna ask what about
* Citrons?
* Red finger lime?
* Bergamot?
* Seville oranges?
* Papedas?

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

*dies*

[starduchess.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!

Maybe Cumquats could be for smaller bites and enticements, a sexy swagger, a suggestive "come hither". ;)

We ate a Pomelo the other day; it's huge! It could be for "this entire series of fics is one long PWP!" such as for A Question of Etiquette.

[shiv5468.livejournal.com]

Grapefruit???

oh dear god. I hate to ask where the grapefruit goes.

[bookwoman72.livejournal.com]

Etrog-- for naughtysweaty activities that take place in the Sukkah or on other Jewish holidays.