What the flip do I get my brother?

[reynardo]

It's got this bad, guys, that I need to ask you for ideas. My brother is 42, he's married, no children. He's just taken redundancy from his government for the payout, and he doesn't know what he wants to do now. He has all the music and movies he could possibly want (they download most things), and he doesn't read. And he's active in the Werner Erhardt (Landmark, Est) movement. He's not really sporty, although he's into Zumba. Practically no hair.

My budget is $30. I need to either be able to order it to arrive in Sydney by Monday, or buy it down here (Melbourne) in time to send it to Sydney on Friday.

Any ideas? Anything? Throw the silly ones in too - they might trigger an idea.

Comments

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

Oh. HMMMM.

Well, even if he doesn't read, if he listens to stuff, audiobooks can work... Though I'm spending more then $30 to get my brother a 6month gift account on Audible for Christmas. Even their 3month account is more...

Let's see, let's see. New headphones? USB drive thingies? Fuzzy colored socks?

I don't know, flinging things out there at this point...

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

They're all good ideas. Alas, I gave him and his wife matching silly cartoon socks a couple of years ago. He'll have all the latest gadgets.

I have to admit that I did ask all the family for a Christmas List (we have a private Facebook page set up for it) and all *his* ideas were either contributions to his new computer screen, or a $100 digital camera.

I swear, at this rate, I'm getting him a goat.

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

LOL. A goat would certainly work!

A contribution to the screen could work.

A bit of money to any games he plays for those extras most of us want but can't pay for is always appreciated. Hmm. I had another idea, but it's flown my brain for the moment...

[fluidsparkles.livejournal.com]

Latin dance Cd for his Zumba Ness.

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

ohhh not a bad idea.

[michiexile]

Don't buy him a zebra.

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

*scribbes down* don't ... buy ... zebra. Got it.

[michiexile]

It's from one of the more famous Swedish humorous troubadours, Povel Ramel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYnr58BzG48
http://www.lyricsbox.com/povel-ramel-lyrics-kop-inte-en-zebra-qgdwwst.html

Google Translate sez (slight post-translation edits):
Hello boys listen you will understand
My mother in law 80th birthday
and I do not know what I shall give
tell me do you have any idea?

Do not buy a Zebra. No no
Do not buy a Zebra. No no
Do not buy a Zebra. No no no no no no
Buy something she benefits from

Sure, I want to make the woman happy
but but with what with what with what?
I ponder the gray wig
on what should I do?

Do not buy a Zebra. No, I said
Do not buy a Zebra. No, I said
Do not buy a Zebra. No no no no no no!
Buy something she benefits from

Thank you thank you Council given me
A zebra, I had not thought
But now you have something really good
suggestions for me I would be happy.

Do not buy a Zebra. Noo
Do not buy a Zebra. Nah!
Do not buy a Zebra. No no no no no no
Buy reached she has pleasure

My family has given everything there is
To give to an older Womanfolk
Nobody can give me a little tip
But it will be sensible, cludes!

Do not buy a Zebra. NOOO
Do not buy a Zebra. Oh no
Do not buy a Zebra. No no no no no no
Buy something that she benefits from.

Buy flowers. Nah nutrition, she would not like.
A Radio. No, no, she hears that bad.
A book then? Nah, she does not look good either.
Chocolates then? Nah, she does not like chocolate.
A violin then? No, she can not play a stroke.
A Violet then? No, no flowers, I said.
A bag. No, she has before.
A mirror. Nah, she looks so terrible.
A spinning rod. Nah, she does not own river.
A harp. Nah harp she can be herself.
A pilsner. Nah a beer's not as good.
A smithy. Funnily hahahaha.
No oh no oh no oh no
The cat can not help you.

Then I have to go last resort. Tell me tell vadå what.
I am tired of running, tired of working
Give me the number to the circus zoo
I've thought and rejected a full fortnight long
and now there is my soul just zebra left.

[waitingman.livejournal.com]

For $30 I'll stage a Landmark Intervention... based mostly on Aversion Therapy as practised by the Goodies when Tim was a fox-hunting Lord of the Manor

"Do you like Landmark?"

"Yes" WHACK "Ow!!"

"Do you like Landmark?"

"Yes" WHACK "Ow!!"

"Do you like Landmark?"

"No" WHACK "Ow!! But I said no this time!!"

"I know, but I'm starting to enjoy this..."

[moxie_man]

You could send him recruitment materials for the Army of Fudd.

[nimrod-9.livejournal.com]

Food gifts...coffee...

[panacea1.livejournal.com]

Not sure if gift cards / certificates are as big a thing in Oz as they are up here, but I'd be inclined to send him one - a local restaurant perhaps?

(Impersonal, yes, but they're small and easy to ship and you can usually get them at the last minute.)

[sly-girl.livejournal.com]

Ticket to the Francis Bacon exhibition at the Sydney gallery.

[kerravonsen]

Home-made shortbread. Use popcorn for padding the parcel.